★★☆☆☆

From: oreo.overlord@gmail.com
To: creeksecretsconfessor@gmail.com
Subject: Creekwood Confidential: My review of Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda
Date: Monday, September 15, 2025 at 5:09 PM

Eli,

I have to admit, reading Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda left me kind of annoyed, but not in a bad way. More like…frustrated in the “why-are-you-like-this” way with a few characters. There were just a few things I felt quite bothersome from the start. Let’s start out with how the book starts. Martin tells Simon that he read Simon’s emails. Invasion of privacy much? I mean, sure Simon could have logged out of his email before logging off, been a little more careful considering he was on a public computer, but we all make mistakes, I guess. And does Martin have to be that nosy? Not only did you notice that someone else is logged into their email, but to sit there and read the whole exchange? That’s uncalled for. I’m not 100% sure why Simon isn’t more upset that Martin did what he did. If I knew someone read my personal emails, no matter the situation, I’d be a little pissed off. And to screenshot the emails and send them to his personal email? Why do that? That seems a little extreme. I just feel like if I found out that the person who used the computer before me was still logged into their email, I’d quickly log them out, because you know, I’m a decent person.

Now, about the whole “blackmail” situation, can we even call it that? It feels a little more passive-aggressive and manipulative than outright blackmail. Martin isn’t threatening Simon with a specific deadline or making demands. He’s just strongly suggesting Simon help him get closer to Abby, like it’s a favor. But seriously, inviting Martin every time Abby’s around? That’s the least subtle thing ever. Wouldn’t she notice how weird it is, since Martin wasn’t part of their friend group from the beginning? It’s putting Simon in an awkward position where’s trying to maintain normalcy while always looking over his shoulder. Martin’s not pressuring him as much as one would think, at first. There’s no “If you don’t do this by Friday, I’m outing you.” It’s vague and drawn out. Seems like Martin’s enjoying the control without having to commit to the fallout. And Simon? He doesn’t seem as panicked as he should be? It’s weird, the stakes are high but the pacing makes it feel so low-key, it makes it unsettling.

Anyway, this whole setup kind of framed how I saw the rest of the book. It’s messy and uncomfortable, but maybe that’s the point? I’m curious what you thought about how Simon handled it all.

Miles

From: creeksecretsconfessor@gmail.com
To: oreo.overlord@gmail.com
Subject: Re: Creekwood Confidential: My review of Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda
Date: Monday, September 15, 2025 at 5:49 PM

Miles,

I couldn’t agree more about Martin invading Simon’s privacy. He had no business reading those emails. Even if Simon forgot to log out, that doesn’t justify snooping, especially when it involves someone’s coming out process. You’re not only invading Simon’s privacy, but also Bram’s privacy. What if neither of them want to come out at the current moment. They are in the south, which isn’t particularly the most friendly in situations like that. They might be just outside Atlanta, but it’s still close enough to states like Florida or Alabama, that makes me question if these two would be safe if the secret were to come out…pun intended.

The more pressing thing, does their school library have only one computer? How did Martin just so coincidentally happen to use the exact computer as Simon, who just so happens to be friends with your crush? The school has to be big enough that not everyone in the same grade is friends, but small enough that you know roughly who is friends with whom. I just think that it doesn’t seem feasible that there is only one computer in the school library.

And how would Martin know that it was Simon’s email? For all we know, there’s no one there named Jacques, because if there were, the book would have mentioned it. But how are you deducing who’s email it was? Was Martin just in the library waiting for the next available computer? He saw that Simon was done using that computer, and logged on?

Regarding the blackmail. I completely agree. I think that if I were in Martin’s shoes, I’d want to see results fairly quickly. If he really liked Abby, why wouldn’t he try harder to get the results he wanted? Or was he fine with how slow the updates are? I guess it kind of made sense in the beginning, but then got tired of Simon not giving him the results he wanted, and not only just attempted to ask Abby out, but still posted the emails on tumblr because he wanted revenge, I guess?

What are your thoughts?

Eli

From: oreo.overlord@gmail.com
To: creeksecretsconfessor@gmail.com
Subject: Re: Creekwood Confidential: My review of Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda
Date: September 15, 2025 at 8:38 PM

Eli,

I never even considered the computer situation! How did I not notice that? You’re right into thinking that the school would have to supply more than one computer in the library. And now that you mention it, how would Martin know whose email it was? It doesn’t make any sense.

Anyways…I’m dying to hear your thoughts about the Spier family as a whole.

Miles

From: creeksecretsconfessor@gmail.com
To: oreo.overlord@gmail.com
Subject: Re: Creekwood Confidential: My review of Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda
Date: September 16, 2025 at 5:26 PM

Miles,

What do I think about the Spier family? Buckle up, because I’ve got a lot to say.

Let’s start with Jack. At first, he seems like your typical dad. I didn’t mind him at the beginning, but once he cracked his first gay joke, things quickly went downhill. I know he’s trying to be supportive of Simon, but that doesn’t excuse what he said, even if it was meant as a joke. He tries to backpedal, saying he didn’t mean it, but if you really care about your kid, you should regret saying something like that the moment it leaves your mouth, whether or not your kid is gay.

And then there’s Emily…the overbearing mom. It’s sweet that she wants to connect with her kids and understand what they’re into, but she goes way too far, trying to apply the same techniques she uses with her clients to her own children. I get it, you’re a child psychologist, but your kids aren’t your patients. And it’s not like they don’t notice! I’m glad Simon is frustrated with her, because I’d be annoyed too. It’s just weird.

As for Alice, I can actually sympathize with her a little. I somewhat get why she wants to keep her relationship with Theo under wraps. Her mom would be all over, trying to extract every detail, and her dad would probably go full overprotective mode. Alice is in college now, trying to live life on her own terms, and she deserves some privacy. But I do think she could have told Simon and Nora and ask them to keep it between them. At least that way, one person in the family would know about the relationship, just in case. We don’t really know much about Theo, after all, and it wouldn’t hurt to have someone in her corner who’s in the loop.

Nora is a bit of a mystery. Simon calls her “under the radar cool,” but I’m not entirely sold on that. She tends to give into peer pressure, and she’s not the most assertive person, so it’s hard to figure out where I stand with her. The one thing I do find “cool” about her, though, is that she taught herself to play guitar. That’s pretty badass.

And then there’s Simon, the protagonist himself. I don’t think I’ve ever been so frustrated with a character in my life. Every little thing seems like the end of the world to him. He tries so hard to come off as cool, but it always falls flat. I get he’s eager to figure out who Blue is, but he doesn’t seem to know why Blue is hesitant. And with the whole blackmail situation, I still don’t get why he wouldn’t tell Blue right away. Sure, it could scare him off, but this whole thing involves someone Simon likes, he should’ve brought him in sooner. As for how he treats Martin during this, it’s honestly kind of douchey. Ignoring him because Simon doesn’t want to deal with it makes him a terrible friend in my book.

The Spier family dynamic is strange, too. I mean, everyone’s obsessed with The Bachelorette? Even the father? It’s just a little perfect for my taste. Every time there was a scene about family events, I dreaded it. It made me wonder how they all get along without any tension; no sibling rivalry, no petty arguments. I guess that’s just me, coming from a family that wasn’t exactly picture-perfect. So I’ll admit, I’m a little envious of their “perfect” family life.

And that’s only scratching the surface of my thoughts on them. I’m drawing a blank right now, but trust me, I could go on.

But enough about the Spier family. What do you think about Simon’s friends?

Eli

From: oreo.overlord@gmail.com
To: creeksecretsconfessor@gmail.com
Subject: Re: Creekwood Confidential: My review of Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda
Date: September 16, 2025 at 7:30 PM

Eli,

Um…are you done with that dissertation or what? I’m kidding. That was just a lot to read. And I’m still trying to process it. You do make some valid points about the family, and their dynamics.

Miles

From: oreo.overlord@gmail.com
To: creeksecretsconfessor@gmail.com
Subject: What’s in a friend?
Date: September 17, 2025 at 4:46 PM

Eli,

You want my thoughts on Simon’s friends? Alright, here they are…

Let’s start with Nick. Honestly, he comes off a bit pretentious to me. Getting annoyed because people aren’t fake-playing the guitar correctly? Come on, Nick, not everyone’s a musician. At least they’re making an effort. And his crush on Abby? Super obvious. I’m surprised she didn’t pick up on it sooner. Or maybe she did and just chose to play dumb for as long as possible. Either way, I wish Nick had a bit more depth. He kind of felt one-note most of the time.

Now Abby, I get the appeal. She’s easygoing, attractive, confident, and just has that approachable vibe. Even Simon said that if he weren’t gay, he’d want to date her. What I really appreciate is Simon’s friendship with her. She was the first person he came out to, and that says a lot. It’s not about how long you’ve known someone, it’s about how safe you feel around them. He didn’t tell Nick, or Leah, or even his own family. He told Abby. That’s real friendship. That kind of trust is rare.

Speaking of Leah…where do I start? On one hand, she feels like a version of me if I were fictional, sarcastic, emotionally guarded, a little deadpan. But on the other hand, her reaction to Simon not telling her first about being gay really rubbed me the wrong way. She acted kind of possessive, like she was owed that information just because she’s known him longer. People come out when and to whom they feel safe, and she doesn’t respect that. I understand her being hurt, but the way she handled it was disappointing.

Now let’s get Martin out of the way. Ugh. Gangly, nosy, and awkward in all the wrong ways. Honestly, I don’t think he has any real redeeming qualities. I get why Abby turned him down, and I don’t blame her. I’ve already said enough about him, and I’d rather not waste more energy talking about a character I don’t like, so let’s move on.

Then there’s Bram. Or Blue. Or Abraham, whatever name you want to use. I think he’s absolutely adorable in his quiet, low-key way. He’s one of the only characters who actually feels grounded and real. He keeps to himself, a little nerdy, but never in a smug or arrogant way. I know Simon calls Nora “under the radar cool,” but I think that title fits Bram way better. He’s calm, thoughtful, and honestly just sweet. He even rode the tilt-a-whirl for Simon, even though it made him sick. That kind of small act means a lot. He steps outside his comfort zone for Simon, and honestly, I think everyone deserves someone like that.

When you look at Simon’s friend group as a whole, somehow it all just works. The awkwardness, the mismatched personalities, the different cliques…it actually makes sense. The jocks and the nerds, the drama kids and the quiet ones, there’s something really wholesome about the way they all come together. They put aside their differences and just exist together. It’s chaotic and weird and perfect in its own way. Everyone should have a group like that. It really would make the world a better place.

Let me know if I missed anything.

Now I want to hear your thoughts on the story as a whole. Do you consider it one of your all-time favorites? Or just an average read? I’m curious, let me know what you think.

Miles

From: creeksecretsconfessor@gmail.com
To: oreo.overlord@gmail.com
Subject: Re: What’s in a friend?
Date: September 17, 2025 at 5:15 PM

Miles,

I’m honestly surprised you didn’t mention Cal. You know, the one Simon was so sure was Blue? I mean come on, the guy has blue-green eyes! I was right there with Simon, hoping it was Cal. It just seemed so obvious. The way they were always so close, the way Cal would hang around Simon, almost like he didn’t want to leave. There was this undeniable tension between, it was so thick you could practically cut it with a butter knife. I could totally see them together. But then Simon asked Blue about the rolling chair and Blue denied it, and I felt just as crushed as he did?

And what about Taylor? Did you find her annoying, or was it just me? I couldn’t stand her. The way she kept boasting about knowing her lines or being so skinny, it was beyond frustrating. Like, okay, we get it. You don’t need to constantly remind us. It felt so self-absorbed. I just wanted her to find someone who actually cared about that stuff, because clearly, this group didn’t.

As for Simon’s other friends, I totally agree with your take. I couldn’t have said it better myself.

Eli

From: oreo.overlord@gmail.com
To: creeksecretsconfessor@gmail.com
Subject: Re: What’s in a friend?
Date: September 17, 2025 at 5:37 PM

Eli,

I didn’t write about Taylor for that exact reason. That’s all I’m going to say about her.

As for Cal…I don’t know how I feel about him. I don’t have the same opinion as you do, but I see your sentiment.

Miles

P.S. Still waiting on your thoughts

From: creeksecretsconfessor@gmail.com
To: oreo.overlord@gmail.com
Subject: Hold your horses.
Date: September 17, 2025 at 5:59 PM

Miles,

I was just getting there! Impatient much?

Overall, the book seems like a typical coming-of-age story. Did it tug at my heartstrings? Sure. Would I read it again? Probably not. It’s not a bad book by any means, but I can’t imagine sitting through it again. The characters, the plot, at times it just felt a bit too much. Not every coming-of-age story needs a perfect family, a romance, or a flawless friend group. I think the story might’ve been more relatable if it didn’t try so hard to be ideal. Honestly, it probably sounds like I hated the book, but that’s not the case. So, those are my thoughts, what do you think?

Eli

From: oreo.overlord@gmail.com
To: creeksecretsconfessor@gmail.com
Subject: Re: Hold your horses.
Date: September 18, 2025 at 5:08 PM

Eli,

Yes. I am impatient. And I will not apologize for it. But your overall thoughts on the book seem reasonable. It totally makes sense. I completely agree with your assessment of the story.

Miles